It's that time of year again!

No...not the holiday barbie season - the time of year when I try to get all the school work I should have been doing the entire semester and try to get it all done at once. So all day I've been doing school work. Blah. When will I learn? I think the answer to that question is NEVER. I've been like this my entire life. I've always been a procrastinator. I think I get a sick high from it. I must, why else do I do it?


I even decided that at 9:54 on Sunday night, with tons more work ahead of me, that my time would be better spent updating this blog...it's a hopeless case.

I had a nice Thanksgiving. Ate me some turkeys and potatoes...yum. Susie makes a mean pumpkin pie, seafood bisque, and mashed potatoes oh my!

Three things about me right now:
1. I just took 75mg of benedryl...that won't kill me will it?
2. I'm dirty. Haven't showered since Thursday. I've been leaving the house with my hood up all weekend.
3. Um, there are only 2 things I can think of
right now.

Ohhhh, Birthday. Boy did I have one hell of a birthday weekend. If I had to describe it in one word, that word would be....decadent. Whoooo, did I indulge in pretty much everything a gal can indulge in. I've been recovering all day today. In fact, it's 9 PM and I'm still in my pjs. Oh Birthday. Whooo. It was a good time.

I had a great time and I have even better friends. Liz made me a four layer cake. (FOUR LAYERS) as well as homemade hummus and her famous spinach and artichoke dip. Abby made a host of horderves fit for a 5 star restaurant. Everything was tiny and sooo good. I think my favorite were the tiny little crab cakes with this glorious mint sauce (I think it was mint, what the hell was it Abby?) I hope she puts the recipes up on her foody website.

Thanks to everyone who came to my birthday party. I hope you all had as much fun as I did. Thanks also goes to the makers of Patron Anejo. Ohh you are naughty.

For every man who has ever thought, "You know, I like speedos to swim and hang out pool side, but somehow they just aren't skimpy enough."

So let me just say this....I got DVR from the cable company...just to record Lost while I'm at school on Wednesday nights. And I come home...all ready to watch "my stories" and it's not working! Damn you! Damn you!

I received this email two days ago. It said:

I am holding your dog hostage until you are nice to me.

Accompanying the email was this picture. In it you will see my dog, Pandy, with a blindfold over her eyes. In front of her is a current Humboldt Iowa newspaper. The clues are many. Pandy lives in Iowa with my parents. The carpet looks very much like my parents house. My mother owns a digital camera...hmmm.

The next day I received this email. It said:

You still are not being nice to me!!! I am still holding your dog hostage
and this is what may happen to him if you aren't nice to me soon.


Seasoned Pandy Jerkey:


1 1/2 pounds of Pandy meat

1 tsp. seasoned salt

1/3 tsp. garlic powder

1/3 tsp. black pepper

1 tsp. Accent

1 tsp. onion powder

1/4 cup Worcestershire Sauce

1/4 cup soy sauce



Semi freeze the Pandy meat and cut into 1/8 to 1/4 inch slices. Combine seasonings and stir into meat slices. Mix Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce together. Cover the bottom of a 9 x 15 x 2 inch pyrex dish with the sauce mixture and place one layer of meat stripes on top. Brush the top of the meat with sauce and layer with more strips of meat, brush top with sauce. Marinate over night. Say strips of marinated meat in a single layer over oven racks. Dry in oven at 140 degrees or lowest oven setting for 6 to 8 hours. Makes about 1/2 pound of Pandy jerkey.


I responded by telling the kidnapper I would have to resort to sending a black ops crew to rescue my dog if she wasn't released. Side note, I find it curious that the kidnapper included a recipe in the ransom note...it's very similar to this. Could it be another clue to the kidnapper's identity?


The next day I received an email that said, "It's too late." It was accompanied by the picture below.



I must believe this is a cruel joke. Who could harm my blind and deaf old dog? She wouldn't hurt a soul. Pandy, if you are out there...try to contact me. I'm not giving up hope. I will find you. Stay calm. Ruff..Ruff!

Miki remembered a sad sad song that she had to sing in grade school in Japan. It's about slaughtering cows....and the chorus goes, Dona dona dona dona Dona dona dona down. This freaks me out. I don't know about you, but I remember singing We Built This City by Starship in school. (Which coincidentally was ranked as the worst album ever by USA Today.) Which is worse? Singing about cows going to meet their creator or singing about Marconi playing the mamba?

A lot of press this week about the Country Music Awards coming to NYC. It all pisses me off. I'm a fan of country music, but not this pop shit coming out of mainstream Nashville right now. I wish everyone could hear some of the amazing country music that is being made these days. Which brings me to my main point. I want my radio show back! More to the point, I want a country station in NYC and I want that station to give me a show so I can play some of the good shit...Stuff like Gillian Welch, Old Crow Medicine Show, Meat Purveyors, Bobby Bare Jr, Ryan Adams, The Be Good Tanyas, Lyle Lovett,...I could go on forever. You know what's sad....you know who is playing the most authentic country music these days....guess...go ahead....it's the freakin Netherlands! When I want to listen to some good stuff on internet radio, I need to listen to Dutch people for 10 minutes before I can hear the music. If Jesus loved me he would have some rich dude call me up say, "Krista I want you to leave your cubicle right now, come to my office, take a couple million dollars, start a country music station in NYC, and have your own show." Yeah, that would be nice...you listening Jesus?

So my birthday is coming up. I'm having a party at my apartment. If you know me and haven't been invited it's totally because I either forgot or I don't have your email address...you should just come. I don't know why I'm having this party. The older I get the sillier it seems to celebrate my birthday. I'm not really feeling party-like this year. I'm hoping it wasn't a mistake to plan this party. I'm hoping things come together. If not, hopefully enough people will come, so if I disappear early and go to bed no one will notice.

Last night I was laying in bed thinking that I should sell all my shit, buy an old station wagon, get an old mutt of a dog that needs some love and likes to travel, and just hit the road. I guess I'm feelin like a rabbit. I don't know where I would end up, if I would even end up anywhere. I would just go from town to town until something felt right and/or my dog needed some time where his head wasn't hanging out the window of moving vehicle. I picture my dog having big floppy ears...perhaps basset houndish. His name would either be Joe or Mr. Hooper.

I wish this wasn't real. Honestly....take the tour, it gets worse.

Man, I know I know...I haven't posted in awhile. I also haven't downloaded the pictures from the last 12 parties/events/major life milestones/decapitating of Halloween cookies, or paid my rent, written my Grandma, responded to about 20 emails, cleaned my room, or started on the three projects I have to finish in a few weeks for school.

But let me tell you what I have done. I carved two pumpkins (One of our Lord and Savior and one of Betelgeuse) took my clothes to the cleaners, downloaded and watched approximately 20 Lost episodes, and I bought a ticket to go to freakin Beijing in April. (Well, I didn't actually pay for the ticket yet, but it has be purchased and I am going, which is the main thing...right?) Isn't that awesome?!!

The lovely Twinkie came up with the idea, sent an email out asking if there were any takers, and about an hour later she had purchased 3 tickets to Beijing for the unbelievable low price of $400 bucks. So whoooo hoo. Happy Birthday to me. If I can continue the tradition of either going somewhere incredible (Africa) on my birthday, or buying tickets/planning an awesome trip on my birthday, (which is on the 18th for all of you who want to buy my a present) I will be one happy broad.

So now I have something to look forward to....the countdown begins...only 182 days to go.

Oh my God, maybe it's all the Lost I've been watching or should I be concerned that my birthday is on the 18th, it's the second of the month, and I leave in 182 days. Spooky!